Fleshlight Launch is the new intuitive jerk off machine that can replace the woman (or man) you don't have.  You can sync it to your porn (not magazines or VHS), have a VR experience or adjust the settings manually and role play that you're in love (or lust) with a Keurig. 

It costs $200 which is pretty steep for a fapbot but it's still cheaper than dating but more expensive than giving yourself the stranger. I'd get one but I'm the kind of guy that leaves dishes in the sink for a couple days in a row so I can't justify a robotic semen collector incubating my unborn seed underneath my bed...but if they put tits on it that would make it a tougher decision.